First Annual Running of the Brides

It evolved into a Movement with international press coverage. It began at Dig 'n' Save, doing the equivalent of dumpster diving.

Most people think that the St. Vincent de Paul thrift stores are the end of the road for cast-off donations; but here in Madison we have a St. Vinnie's factory outlet—Dig 'n' Save (DNS). What doesn't sell at St. Vinnie's goes to DNS, is lumped into huge appliance-sized boxes, and sells for $1 or less per pound. Several of my friends are DNS habitués, and on one visit as we pawed through the boxes of other people's detritus and tax deductions, we found an abundance of wedding gowns. Some of us bought them with the idea that they would be great costumes. I found the odd juxtaposition hideously delightful—buying a beautifully ornate wedding dress by the pound.

That was over a year ago, and the gown remained unused. Then two events intersected: my daughter got married, and "Running Disaster" gave notice that he could not host his scheduled 4/9 Hash House Harriers run. As a good Hash citizen, I threw myself on the grenade and offered to "hare" the run. The combination of being in wedding mode after returning from Carrie's shindig and having the DNS wedding dress in my closet ignited my decision to make it a theme run: Running of the Brides (ROTB). I had a vision similar to Running of the Bulls except with far more fearsome creatures and lots more bullshit. Seeing a bunch of Hashers running down the street in standard running gear is pretty funny. The thought of those same Hashers populating the byways in wedding regalia totally cracked me up.

Eggbeater was my co-hare, and we planned the trail with a plethora of churches for photo ops, as well as appropriate spots for champagne checks. We got baklava and Ouzo to serve at the Greek Orthodox Church where ROTB commenced. For the on-in (party after the run) I ordered a sheet cake with wedding decorations and a cake topper from eBay portraying a miniature groom on his hands and knees with the bride holding his leash.

By the time Saturday April 9 dawned, I was practically vibrating with excitement—and a small dose of fear. What if people didn't dress up? What if not many came? Oh what the hell. I was gonna have fun, and it was a gorgeous day. The rest would take care of itself.

Eggbeater & I spent 3 hours setting the "nuptial trail", then went to my house and frantically cleaned to get it ready for the on-in. We donned our gay apparel and headed for the church after loading up with the baklava and the coolers containing bottles of champagne and cases of beer.

Shortly after our arrival, the parking lot was inundated with almost 50 people in all manner of wedding garb. Then there was the bevy of photographers. My friend Victor-charles came to film for his Burning Man project. Other friends came to watch the freak show. And the WSJ, bless its heart, sent BOTH a photographer and a reporter, Andy Manis and Tim Cigelske, who were ultimately simply extraordinary.

We came, we saw, we ran, we drank. Welcome to the world of the Hash. On this particular Hash run, we stopped traffic as well. Running of the Brides was a huge success based solely on turnout and run. But the ante was upped when in the Sunday WSJ we made the first page of the Local section—above the fold! We were thrilled! Wowie, zowie! http://www.madison.com/archives/read.php?ref=/wsj/2005/04/10/0504090267.php Then the story was picked up by the Associated Press (AP), and it began showing up in newspapers—both hard copy and online—all over the world, including a couple news outlets in South Africa. We were mentioned on radio shows and TV news around the U.S. An exercise in bottom-feeding bargain shopping became the Wedding Event the World Watched and gossiped about far more than any excitement Charles and Camilla generated on the same day.

Now... if you'll kindly excuse me, I have to go plan the sequel. And no, it's not going to be Running of the Fat-Assed Housewives.