It’s a Bad Day When You’re Fired by the Sugar Plum Fairy

This morning I gaily costumed up in anticipation of the office Halloween potluck. Rebecca took pictures of me as the Sugar Plum Fairy—purple satin dress and gloves, big blonde curly wig, a tiara, a wand, and purple and teal gossamer wings. I was set for a day of work with a little fun and silliness mixed in.

Almost immediately upon getting into my office, the consultant who is doing our web design wanted to talk. It has not been a good fit, and last week I let her know that she needed to pull a rabbit out of her hat if she wanted to continue with the contract. She’s not easy to manage—even as she talks about wanting to keep this position, ‘tude and complaints come rolling out. This morning she began by apologizing for some of her comments (her agency had chatted with her apparently) and said she had a positive attitude and wanted to do a good job for us. She is not a good communicator and has a voice to which it is not easy to listen. As she went on way past the state of rambling and I saw my purple gloves folded in my purple satin lap, I could only think that to all appearances, this woman was negotiating with the Sugar Plum Fairy for her job. Even as I tried to listen well and wished she would stop, and even as I considered the irony of the situation, I felt for her.

A little later one of our business analysts, also a consultant, came in to talk about getting her degree and how much time it's going to take. We really want to hire her in the next year, but can't do it without the degree (UW requirement), and it looks like at minimum it will take her two years. So again, I found myself on the business end of a serious conversation about career issues, and wondered just how effective I could be with wings, not to mention a wig that makes Dolly Parton’s look conservative.

My boss cracked up every time he looked at me—even as he was telling me that none of the directors liked the latest batch of web designs. He told me it was entirely my decision whether to keep the designer on or not since I’m her manager—which I appreciated—but it seemed clear to me that having her stay would not do any of us, including her, any favors. I called her agency to let them know before I talked to her. Her rep wanted to come over for the Come to Jesus Meeting, and when he arrived.... the Sugar Plum Fairy performed her first firing. It was NOT fun, but seemed to go as well as one could expect—especially when playing the executioner in garb reserved for Christmas ballets and drag shows. Who knew the Sugar Plum Fairy could feel sick to her stomach?

Scott, unaware of the firing, emailed jokingly asking if, as the SPF, I’d turned anyone into a toad. I replied, “That is not the job of Sugar Plum Fairies. But in this case, I would have to say yes.”

New Kid

Sunday a Bold New Experiment began—Rebecca, a Taiwanese exchange student, moved into my extra bedroom. I signed up for this in August with Wisconsin English as a Second Language Instituate (WESLI), and it’s a little surreal that it’s actually happening now. On paper it sounds great: cultural exchange and extra cash flow. But how do I really feel about having someone I don’t know sharing my counter space and in my house when I come home from work? Until February.

Rebecca is admittedly adorable—HUGE hair, big smile, halting but good English. It’s obvious by her mannerisms that she’s very careful to be the good guest. I hope I’m as a good a homestay mom.

Last night I got home from work, and there at the door was a big smile under huge hair and a loud “Hi Leez!” to greet me. I can only say that it felt warm, fuzzy, and a pleasure to be welcomed into my own home by the new kid!

Meet Your Co-Readers

After my last post, my friend Rick joked that his level of enjoyment of my blog was in direct proportion to how often I mentioned him; and thus he was thinking of changing his name to Scott. For some reason this made me start thinking of how fun it would be to profile the people I know who are regular readers here. A little virtual party for all of you to get together.

So are you ready for this fantastic cast of characters? And I do mean characters… (If you are a regular and somehow I have egregiously left you out, please let me know and I will correct that post haste. )

Carrie – Austin, TX
Carrie is the kind of person I would want to know even if she weren’t my daughter. She’s quick, bright, and funny. I’ve never known anyone as loyal to friends and family as she is. Even a quick trip to the grocery store with Care becomes an exciting road trip—and even when it’s significantly further with the time and distance it takes to cover many states, she’s always a great travel partner. Carrie is 27, married to my “favorite son” Joshua, and has given me grandcats and a granddog. My only complaint about the whole bunch of’em is that I don’t get to see them often enough. Ask her about how she went from being the shy shrinking violet to the Rambo-ette who got suspended from eighth grade for fighting.

Jo – Guymon, OK
Although my sister Jo and I are politically at opposite poles, where the heart is concerned, it would be hard to be closer. When we were growing up, and our mother was fighting who-knows-what demons, Jo was the mom who nurtured me and listened to me and helped me grow up feeling loved. She has a brilliant accounting mind teamed up with a beautifully creative soul—displayed in her razor-sharp organizational skills and invitingly beautiful home. She plays bridge like a fiend while still firmly believing she's not all that good at it. She has patiently taught any number of people to play and love the game and is one of those few good players who doesn't make us bad ones feel like we should hang our heads about it. Jo does my taxes for me every year—which is only one example of how she’s always nicer to people than she has to be.

Rick – Madison, WI
We met standing in line for a Wisconsin Film Festival flick. We had a lovely conversation through the extended wait, then went our separate ways as we were swallowed by the maw of the theater. Nine months later I was standing in line for the Mad Rollin’ Dolls roller derby chatting with a silver-haired stranger when I realized, “WAITAMINNIT! This is déjà vu all over again!” That time we exchanged email addresses and have been growing our friendship ever since. Rick is the quintessential good person and does huge amounts of volunteer work, spreading kindness in his wake. When it was time to euthanize my dog Murray, Rick was there. He’s the kind of friend who not only gives you his extra aloe vera plants, but delivers them already planted in a pot. He burns the perfect theme CDs (with his own artwork for the liner) to get one through a rough spot or for no reason at all. And in case your diabetes is flaring up with all this sweetness, Rick has pretty close to the most wicked sense of humor in the world.

Lori – Madison, WI/Amherst, MA
When we met at a Marcia Ball concert and discovered our shared Texas roots, it was only the beginning of becoming sisters under the skin. We’re both loud, fun-loving, outspoken, analytical, and athletic—but the chemistry and friendship go way beyond those tangibles. Our discussions range from the mundane to the other-worldly. Lori supported me through my Ironman hell and other challenging times, while celebrating the milestones and miracles along the way. I’ve stuck with her through her good relationship with Jeff and attended their wedding in Massachusetts last year. For the past several weeks, Lori has been struggling with strange neurological manifestations that have affected her walking and her entire life—with the docs unable to pinpoint an exact diagnosis. She bought a recumbent trike, which she has been peddling to work like a trooper since she currently is not allowed to drive, and continues teaching her university classes when she's not being put through some new test. This weekend she and Jeff are going to Vermont to celebrate their anniversary—and hopefully to discover the Lourdes of New England. Whatever path this takes, my money's on Lori.

Karen & Beth – Madison, WI
It’s not that Karen and Beth aren’t unique individuals who deserve their respective profiles. It’s that they are inseparable in so many ways. I’m proud to say that I introduced them. They are both clear-eyed truth-tellers who bring spring-fresh openness and honesty to everything they do. They soothe the chaos, and when they’re there, you know that not only will everything be okay but that it’ll be a kick-ass good time to boot. To say that both are talented photographers is like saying Michelangelo was not too bad as artists go. Beth has been getting some great freelance gigs; and as the editor of the Isthmus Guide, Karen continues to be the person without whom social life as we know it in Madison would come to a screeching halt. Karen was another loving friend who came to be with Murray and me for the sad but special moment of his passing. Individually and collectively, Karen and Beth are the summation of all things good.

Katherine – Madison, WI
Brilliant. Intuitive. Artistic. Katherine blows me away with her abilities. Yet even with her incredible and varied writing (and many other talents), she is kind enough to compliment my efforts. I wish I could successfully balance the number of projects Katherine does with such grace, but I find it satisfying just to watch her do it. When we get together, I love knowing that I’m going to leave with a slightly different worldview than I came with.

Crystal – Evansville, WI
Crystal and I bartended together at the Radisson. She reminds me a lot of Carrie, but not so much that I’ve tried to make her a surrogate daughter. But enough that I definitely want her for a friend—not as a Carrie Clone, but for her own stellar qualities. Open. Centered. Fun. Funny. (“Boobage”, Crystal? Boobage???) Smart. Crystal clear. When I get together with Crystal, I always leave with warm fuzzies and a gladness that despite the very short time we worked together, our friendship lives on.

Suzers – Icking, Germany
Susan has got to be one of the funniest women I know. When I worked with her on an IBM project in California, her Tennessee accent and vibrant humor permeated everything we did. She fell in love with that Bernd dude from Germany—Mr. Athletic—and she convinced me to buy inline skates so I could learn how and she could get into shape to keep up with him. Shortly after our one inline outing, she couldn’t stand it any longer, sold what she didn’t pack, and moved to Germany to be with him. Good lord, that must have been at least five years ago. [Checked with Suzers, and it'll be SIX years in three weeks. OMG!] I haven’t seen hide ner hair of her since, but we stay in touch through email and occasional phone calls. BUT… on 8 November I’m trotting down to Chicago’s O’Hare and snagging Suzers and Bernd off their American flight and it’s going to be GREAT seeing them! (Suzers, I still have those skates. Haven’t used ‘em since our outing. Maybe someday….)

Scott – Madison, WI
Newbie reader. Barely makes the roster. But… a seemingly devoted reader nonetheless. I don’t trust easily, but with Scott I willingly had my first experience on a tandem bicycle and have even let him read my blog. Oh my. Although his humor is subtle, it makes me laugh out loud; and his kindness warms me from the toes up. I fully understand why so many of his friends have treasured knowing him for decades. I can only hope for such good fortune.

Catching Up

The last two months have been a tilt-a-whirl of work and activity and… stuff. Some of you have bitterly complained at my lack of blogging—and I thank you for flattering me so. I have missed it too.

I was promoted at work, and my title changed to Document Control Manager. My dad has often said that you don’t have to be a sonofabitch to be a manager, but if you’re not, you’ll become one. I hope that isn’t truly the case, but it is reflective that managing is not a popularity contest one can expect to win every day. The title which I have bestowed on myself is “Document Nazi”—a pre-emptive strike before anyone else could. I have three people reporting to me now—seemingly happily so far for all of us. (Oh, except for the one that I have to talk to tomorrow about either getting fully engaged with the work, or...) I am so happy that along with the new responsibilities, I am still doing hands-on technical writing and documentation work; but it does make for some longer hours that cut into my blogging.

My therapist encouraged me to sign up on Match.com to get some romantic juice going in my life, and it has been the cornucopia of dating. It was uplifting to find that such abundance exists in single men sincerely (for the most part) seeking relationship. And although also uplifting to the ego to receive so much positive attention, juggling lunches and dinners and coffees to meet these potential suitors became overwhelming to a point that at times I just wanted to spend a night or weekend at home in my ratty bathrobe and Homer Simpson slippers. I also found it distressing to go through a series of mini break-ups. Even if it was just one meeting that showed no hope for potential relationship, it was always hard to go through, “I don’t think so, but thanks for being on the show.” Almost all of the men I met were decent people, but just not a match for me. There were a few who were very fun and that I continued to see with the knowledge that for the long haul, it probably was not happenin’.

Then I met Scott, and all the others faded into the background and off the map. As I’ve been sitting here trying to come up with profound descriptions, I decided that I can’t do him justice in 25 words or less. Or even 2500 words or more. He’s Scott. When people ask how we met, I tell them that I chased him down and calf-roped him, to which he responds, "Never was there a more willing calf." And you can now blame him for absorbing large amounts of what previously would have been blogging time.

Time with my friends has undoubtedly been pared back a bit by work and romance, but I have still managed to get together with those who make my life so rich and textured. Last week I had my bi-annual chick party/apparel exchange, which required bulldozing the chaos in my house to a point of respectability and preparing for the onslaught of women prepared to eat, drink, and “shop”. We had a wonderful time. Friday I got the last bag of left-over clothing to charity, the clothes racks down to the basement, and the cooler put away. Normalcy—whatever that constitutes in my life—seems to be re-asserting itself.

Here I am. I’m back. I’m happy. Life is good. I’ll be working at managing my time to get in the periodic blog on a more regular basis. Thanks for being on the show!